Requiem of Years

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2017 – This year was both fulfilling in God and depressing in the world.  I was forced to quit my job on December 24, 2016 at ANCORP when I refused to have my wages garnished for my wife’s adulterous affair and wicked divorce judgment.  I was out of work until December 11, 2017.  I tore a ligament in each shoulder during my seven years on Active Duty in the Army.  I was able to get out of the four year Reserve contract after two years on medical in October of this year.  I abandoned the new house I purchased in Chiefland, FL in November, and moved back to Statesville.  I could no longer pay for it. 

Because I was out of work for a year, 2017, became fulling in God because of the time I could spend praying and studying.  However, I still spent a lot of time watching anime and making music video mashups for my YouTube channel.  The video and transcript included below was my contribution to my Requiem of Years, the continuing micro journal of primary highlights from each year of my life.  I started this project in 1994, but it consisted of only selecting a song for each year.  At that time, music was the best way for me to recall memories.  I started making videos for each year in 2016, that were also on my YouTube channel. 

I am not proud of this video in God because it reflects the ecchi nature of the lifestyle I was leading.  When you engage in the world’s devices, such as media, crude humor, or risqué movies or TV, you become accustomed to it, indoctrinated by it.  I justified it by saying it was natural, just like those who are still deceived by lascivious living.  A few of the videos above, in the Year of Tears, had “R” rated nudity in them, but I edited them prior to mask those parts.  This one has “PG-13” nudity, and I would have edited it, but there are too many small occurrences and it would be pointless.  I am including the original, the only change being, I had to greatly reduce the quality for this blog because Blogger only allows videos smaller than 100mb. The pixel frame is 320x180, so the larger the screen you watch it on the blurrier it will appear.

I am providing the disclaimer above for this video because sanctification is an ongoing process in God until you die.  At the time I believed God was in this (and still do to a small degree), it being a learning process.  It is up to us to repent of our faults (confess and forsake the sin), when God reveals it.  I could cover my sin and not include the video, which is what I was going to do.  But, I decided that I made it with an honest heart, and since God did not abandoned me, and I did not despise His longsuffering toward me, I would publically recant and provide proof of what carnal living will do to you in the spirit.  “Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?” Rom 2:4.


It is my custom to select a song that somewhat sums up my life for the year.  Last year I did a 50 song tribute nostalgically because I could not relate to any of the present-day tunes.  However, I do prefer to use a current popular song for this endeavor.  The deciding factor for this year’s song came down to my own euphemism; there is no such thing as a good woman, but there is Wonder Woman. 

If you doubt my assessment of the former, take Solomon’s word for it, “Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.”  Ecclesiastes 7:28.  Since this is one of the hardest lessons I have learned, having experienced an adulterous spouse and witnessed the wickedness of a whorish woman first hand; it is still haunting to believe. 

They say, “Proof trumps all.”  Tramps trust theory.  As alibis fade, the proof remains.  Jezebel had an affair with another man and left her husband, plea cannot erase that proof!  Fittingly, she shall be called an adulteress, and that “A” does not fade until repentance (Luke 16:18, Mark 10:11-12, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11).  Three witnesses as proof, but today’s women cherry-pick fantasy over fact, truth being unpopular. 

So, now life is a fantasy, an imagined speculation filled with fictional fonts primarily represented by anime oddities, and now, Wonder Woman?  A jest, but she is, after all, an illusory goddess; therefore, she has to be the one that could not be found, being she does not exist.  Solomon was right! 

My tribute to the year is capriciously dreamy.  I have spent the majority of my time making music video mashups of my favorite anime shows, and as the select compilation passes, they are the realization of the elusive exploration; if you cannot find one, you have to envision a new concept where make-believe love does what IRL love could not – grow (reality); proving practical love is the true fantasy, as it is penned away in a bill of death, capriciously. 

Wonder Woman, yea, we can only imagine a woman as wonderful, so we give her life through amusement.  She only exists in an imaginary search where in reality, she cannot be found.  Parting Scripture, “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression” 1 Timothy 2:14.  See you next year. 

(Portugal. The Man - Live In The Moment)

2018 – When I talk about this year it is kind of like walking on glass.  Rapid fire – moved back to Statesville, rented mom’s basement apartment, delivered newspapers for eight months (quit over a disagreement), enrolled my grandniece in dance and gymnastics (got involved in her life), got uninvolved in her life (over a threat), sold my truck so my daughter Rinthia could buy a camper, fasted 40 days, quit making anime videos, deleted my YouTube and Vimeo channels, moved again because I could not afford the rent, and started this blog.

As far as the newspaper job, it was mother’s idea, and she took the job and I helped but did the last three months by myself.   So, in relation to the job and my grandniece, I cannot really talk about it without others getting mad.  Light and darkness cannot fellowship, and that pretty much sums up all that mess.  

My Uncle Eddie co-signed after my bankruptcy, so I could buy the only brand new vehicle I have ever owned, a 2003 F150 truck.  I really liked that truck, but I love my daughters.  I have not seen any of my four daughters since 2015, except Emily for two nights and one day.  Rinthia called and said they desperately needed a place to live and they were trying to buy a camper because her common law husband worked at a campground.  I sold my truck to get cash for her.  They put the camper in His name only, and a few months later he kicked her and their two babies out.  I do not regret giving her the money, and I told her she could come here, but she has chosen to still stay in Kansas.

After I quit the newspaper job I went on a 40 day fast of just water.  I was desperate to get to God.  If you want to find out how worldly you are just go on a 40 day fast.  Your spirit will become so much stronger than your flesh that it will literally wake you up to the truth of God, walking in the Spirit, and forsaking the flesh and the world.  About eight days into the fast God reminded me of a vow I made in 1990 about not watching TV.  I broke that vow when I started dating Amy.  I renewed that vow to God and repented for breaking it.  That is when I deleted my YouTube and Vimeo channels, and stopped making anime video mashups.

My song for this year is Live In The Moment by Portugal. The Man (It can be heard in the video I made above).  I selected it because it is good, but also cryptic.  If you understand what they are saying, they are really thumbing their nose at the false world created by the government and pseudo-science and pointing the real knowledge back to God.  I have never been limited to a particular genre of music.  Some would say, you are Christian, you should only listen to that.  Christian music today is just like pop music.  It is production music, and the artists are primarily millionaires.  It is a business for all of them across the “billboard.”  There are (were) Christian musicians that make and sing music with their heart.  That is what I look for in any song, and sometimes you can find more heart today in other genres.  I am not promoting pop music, or any music, that is openly ungodly.

And that is 2018.  The only thing left was that I moved again because I could not afford to rent my mom’s basement apartment.  Counting Kansas in 2015, I have lived in four places in three different states in three years.    

I do not mean any disrespect to anyone mentioned, but I have come to the place in my life where light means far more to me than darkness.  I do not harbor ill will toward anyone, including my adulterous wife; the truth is the truth, and love and truth go hand in hand.  Maybe my recollection has my slant on it, but I always maintain that if I am at fault tell me what it is.  If the blame is vague and your reason is that it upset you, or you thought it rude, that is just attacking the messenger.  You know who will not be in heaven?  People who get their feelings hurt over the truth, and people who hate to receive correction.  I want correction, I want chastisement in God.  However, if your correction for me is to stop telling you the truth and let you alone in your sin, then I will…after the second admonition, then you become an example to others.

P.S.  Follow my blog, I’m just warming up; these journal entries are nothing but background.  I’m on a mission from God to expose the wicked world you love.  Religion is boring, but God is not.  God is fixing to shake this place.  

2019 “I Swear,” it is getting harder to find a song for this Requiem each year.  American music has become so sybaritic I decided to look to Japanese anime tunes and chose sweet ARMS - I Swear.  Not that I am making anime music mashups again, but I am a bit of a sentimentalist and the song was good to me.  The pictures used in the video are of Kurumi Tokisaki, one of the characters from the series Date A Live.

This year has taught me to live on less since I cannot be gainfully employed.  I was a squatter in a dilapidated house where the good news was I paid no rent or mortgage.  The bad news was there were no facilities and I could not afford to really renovate.  The worst news was that my brother met a girl and decided to pursue an unlawful relationship with her, so here I go again.

The first thing my brother and his new girlfriend did was an evaluation of assets, and since he owned the property where I was living, they decided they wanted it.  So, I had to move again and that makes five times in four years.  To be fair, they did offer to let me stay on the property by means of a camper or such (they wanted to remodel the house); but I could not partake in another man’s sin.

Thus, I gave away all my worldly possessions except for what I could fit in my compact car and made my way into the interior of the country.  I am currently camping out near a mountain region that I will not name.  I can say that since I have started following God, He has always taken care of me and protected me against those who made themselves enemies to His kingdom.

This year (and the four prior) all ended with me having to relocate because someone close to me decided that they would rather serve sin than God.  And while no one would admit that was what they were doing, it is what they did none the less.  The Lord’s return is imminent, and the evidence that there are not many (in fact very few) people who want to serve God more than self proves this by demonstration.  There is not going to be some mysterious vanishing of a large number of people as many theorize because there is just not that many left who are willing to deny themselves and take up the cross.

I hope to be one, therefore I strive, not that I have apprehended, as Paul would say, but I press toward the mark forgetting those things that are behind.  With that in mind I feel that the ending of this year has been more positive than the previous because for the first time in a long time I have found a friend to confide in who shares fundamentally a strong faith in God.  It has been almost 30 years since I have been around someone with whom I could be open with about matters of faith without debate or doubt.

And that concludes the major story of 2019 for me, and I am looking forward to the next year in hope that God will make a way for love to grow where hate is dominating those who choose to walk after their own desires to the detriment of others.  While I too am not immune to temptation, I have refrained from violation of God’s word.  I counted it as a strength from the Spirit within me.  Therefore, my prayer for the next year is for that strength to continue, and the way to be made for the blessing prophesied.

2020 – My song for this year is Oh Yeah!, by Green Day.  The first 16 seconds of the video includes a sampling of the 1981 song, Do You Wanna Touch Me, by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, which is the song Green Day sampled.  I picked that 16 seconds because I have a cousin that made a point of singing that part one morning in homeroom at North Iredell High School in 1983, but she probably does not remember.  The first 50 pictures are from 1981 except for the first photo which I cannot date but it is from that era.  It is a picture of the Shawnee Campground pool.  We owned the campground and that is where I lived in 1981.


The first two photos are color animated, but the rest are black and white until the bridge.  Most of the first photos are people and events from 1981 like, Clemson’s National Championship in football which was significant to me then.  There are some movies, Trump and Biden in 1981, Joan Jett, President Reagan (and his assassination attempt), Charles and Diana’s wedding, Tops football cards for that year, Natalie Wood (who was probably murdered), Brooke Shields, Pink and Pretty Barbie, assassination attempt of the Pope (which led to the creation of the Popemobile), MTV and Donkey Kong Mario (both launched that year), Muppets (TV show ended), IBM’s first PC, Hostages released from Iran, Darrell Waltrip & Junior Johnson crew (NASCAR Champ ’81), Time covers, and maybe a few I missed.  The 21st photo is a collage of the Atlanta child murder victims after the 21st victim was found in 1981.  The last few in the first 16 seconds are related to Dean Koontz book, The Eyes Of Darkness from 1981, which sort of predicts the coronavirus (or preemptive programming), and I used that to bridge into the new song. 


It looks like I will not be moving at the end of the year this time because I had to at the beginning, and yes, it was because someone decided I was a threat to their control over others.  It bothered me some, but the deception in the world is so bad now that I know it was for the best.  If you want to believe the lies of people exercising dominion over your faith and you are too selfish or insecure to seek the truth, I am not going to beg the issue anymore; seek the path that seems right to you.  I am accustomed to the deceptions others embrace, it’s not new; but what is happening now with almost every nominal Christian is beyond deception.  They are in a delusion.  It was best that they decided also to Get Space like the others because it was causing me problems in the flesh and reminded me of what I was delivered from before.


Outside of some drama early, this year has pretty much sucked.  I hate going anywhere because each time I see people in masks I see the Hegelian dialectic at work.  Everyone that I talk to I ask the same question; do you know anyone who is sick with this CV19 virus?  It is always the same answer, No, unless they went to the hospital to get it.  This is 2020, and it looks like the workers of darkness are coming out into perfect view, and they expect you to believe what they are mendaciously spreading.  Also, sin is increasing exponentially.  I have not seen my children for five years now.  Since January, one of them started contacting me at the first of every month with a dilemma that required money.  I knew my adulteress wife was a greedy liar, but she has taught my kids to lie even more brazenly than her.  My daughter stopped after August because she told me such a whopper of a lie, that now I am sure guilt plagues her.  It was bound to happen.  Her mother wearies herself with lies, and in the natural, that is the only example my daughters have.  Lying will get you money, but lies cost a lot more than they realize.  It hurts more when it is family because I remember them through the good memories.  If you are not going to follow God, I think it is best that you do avoid me.  When you harm your neighbor, he remembers it, and it is a stain that strains love – especially when you refuse to repent.  My family’s lies and actions tarnish their memories.  If you are going hurt, use, and lie about people, be prepared to face them at your judgement.  God will not justify the wicked (Exo 23:7).  Also, if you too cause hurt or harm to your neighbor based on the lies of others, you will receive the same judgement, God is not going discriminate just because you believed a lie.  That goes for so-called Christians who support the wicked government as well.  Repent, come out of the world, or receive their lot.


I decided in August to stop posting videos to YouTube and bought a membership on BitChute.  So, I am posting all new content to BitChute, but I have left the YouTube channel up instead of deleting it like I did my other one in 2018.  There are just too many issues with YouTube.  If it’s not one thing it’s ten others.  I am tired of YouTube’s corporate monkeys controlling the conversation.  I only used YouTube as a video platform for my blog.  YouTube does not even count the plays from embedded videos on my blog, not that it matters.  I have one video on YouTube that has 600 plays, but the blog page (that only has that video on it, nothing else), has over 11,000 views.  Without going into a laundry list of why I am not posting anymore to YouTube, I will just sum it up with this, – YouTube sucks!


I did struggle in the first quarter in the natural with yet another attack from wolves in sheep’s clothing and I went dormant for about three months and sought the Lord.  I had allowed myself to be drawn back into the cares of this world, and I was not inspired to write on my blog or make videos and then it was like God just said that is enough time to pine and inspiration returned.  There seems to be a common thread in my life when it comes to friendships, or even family.  I do well with people with whom I share commonality (common faith), until someone else enters the picture and in their mind there seems to be some sort of competition of influence that begins because the other person does not like me, i.e., we disagree on spiritual matters (they love the world more).  Since I am not one to force an issue, I usually just part ways and leave them to whatever in this world means more to them than God…and me.  I remembered that even Jesus only had 120 loyal followers after His three-year ministry, and there were times during His ministry when people turned back and quit following Him.  The only way we can agree as a body is through the Holy Ghost, but if you resist Him, well, we cannot agree.  It is easy to give in to your carnal nature, and because everyone is doing it, that herd mentality is dominating everything; and yes, it gets to me at times also.  By grace I was corrected, and I am determined not to do it again.  However, I fear myself more than the Devil and the world, and I have come to realize the folly in justifying your imaginations – for me, and when others do it.


I am posting this entry and video a little earlier than usual.  I typically wait until the end of November and time the video completion for that date as well.  However, I do not feel we are going to have much civil liberty by the end of October into November.  October is the oligarchy’s month.  Anyway, we will see if they force the vaccine or the guillotine on us.  Until then I am just waiting on the Lord.  The last two pictures in the video are also of Joan Jett but from 2020.  I am fairly sure the last voice in Green Day’s song is hers.

End of Requiem of Years, next section is Thoughts accessed via the link below. 
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